Marry me all over again

Marry me, my King, Lord of my body,
All over again.
You are the air that I breath daily,
My life, my Glenn.
I see the love that others don't see,
in your bedroom eyes.
No fakeness, no deceit, just love,
I appreciate no lies.
So on one knee, I kneel without a care
in the world of what they think.
Marry me, My King, Lord of my body.
Intoxicate my soul like a strong drink.
I do, You do, We do. Tell me your vow
of recommitment.
How we will always be together like a 
connecting fitment.
I love you, You love me, We love we
my great and sovereign King.
Marry me all over again. No rings needed,
Just your love, please bring.

The Songstress word ct 1120

 The birds chirped angelically from the tree next to Craig's window while the blinds whistled from the soft wind that blew in. The sun crawled into the horizon and beamed down on he and his partner Pam's naked bodies.

"Today seems like it's going to be awesome day for us spend some time together. We can end it with bubble bath together. Can we go to breakfast?" His Pam questioned rubbing her fingers down his chest and then she kissed him softly.

"Breakfast and bath? Girl I got things to do. I was thinking you grab a cup of coffee from the kitchen and get on with your day," he told as he began to crawl out of bed shoving her off of him.

"Huh? Are you serious Craig? I thought we...were going to spend the day together," she stammered as she became embarrassed and stood up to get dress.

"Listen, this was fun... I mean real fun... but.. I mean it is what it is," he stated. He was annoyed with this new attachment that she suddenly had to him.

"So, as soon as get what you want, "I can have some coffee" from that broke down machine and get the hell out?" she yelled.

"Pam, nothing personal but I got other things to do today. You're still sexy," he told her jokingly, chuckling as he finished dressing. 

Pam finished dressing herself and grabbed her glasses from the night stand. She stomped towards the door as he trailed quickly behind her. She flung  the door open but before leaving she turned stiffly to face him. Her brown eyes glared at him with warning and then she pointed her narrow finger in his face and said, “One day, Craig, you will get back every ugly thing that you've done to so many women. I thought you had changed this time." 

"So you thought that you were the only woman who had a nice box of tricks.I was honest with you. You're delusional," he laughed sarcastically.

"f*** you Craig!" she cried. “I gave you two years of my soul and for you to treat me this way is crazy!”

Craig slammed the door in her face and laughed.

"I don't owe you anything." He said aloud as he grabbed his phone to make a call.

"OK, I'll see you tonight, beautiful," 

Moments later, Craig heard a beautiful song that came from the direction of the house that was separated from his by a mass of trees.

“I thought that house was empty. Whoever that is, she sounds so beautiful,” he said as he made himself a cup of coffee. He tried his best to finish getting ready but he could only concentrate on her angelic voice. Desire to see who she was filled him and he headed out the door. He ran quickly through the mass of trees.Her beautiful voice seem to projected off the trees and become louder. And then, he saw her. She was beautiful. She was lying inside of an old claw foot tub. One leg dangled out lazily, as she continued to sing, cupping water in small hands and then pouring on herself. His heart pounded as he watched her as if hypnotized with his mouth agape. Slowly, she turned her head his way. Her long yellow hair dangled out of the tub and onto the ground. Her face was enticingly beautiful to him.

    Craig approached her, still hypnotized by her voice. He buckled weakly to his knees at the side of the tub and then rubbed her hair. She continued to sing and smile at him with approval.

Then, she grabbed his arm. He convulsed as everything he had done to women played back like a horror movie. He saw his heart, it was black. He felt Pam's pain, and the others. Each tear that fell from their eyes hurt him like a sharp knife stabbing his chest. He screamed and violently yanked from her strong grip. Craig crawled backward clawing his nails into ground. He was ashamed and felt a physical pain that crushed his chest.

    The Songstress continued to sing and smile.  She watched him cry like a child while he rolled in the dirt clinching his chest. Finally, she rose from her tub, still singing as she graceful stepped out. She walked seductively towards him as her long hair swayed behind her. The woman placed her foot on top of his chest and spoke an unknown language that Craig understood.

With a deep raspy voice she said, "For the afflictions that you have given, may the same afflictions  be given back to you...but doubled." Then, she vanished as her soul haunting melody trailing behind. Craig wept still laying on his back. He looked down at his throbbing chest and saw a stab wound. The pain he felt was real; it was so real he felt his eyes closed as he drifted away.

Like a shot, he was back in his bed naked.  Craig looked down at his pulsing chest and notice the fresh scar across his chest. Beads of sweat filled his face and mouth became a cotton ball  canister. Quickly, he picked up his phone to call Pam. He couldn’t get her out of his head. She didn’t answer so he headed out the door towards her apartment.

All of a sudden, he heard the hypnotic singing again. His chest felt as if an elephant was sitting on it. He couldn't stop crying as he sped down the street. That’s when he saw her again, standing in the middle of the street dancing as her hair swirled around her. Craig slammed on breaks in fear of coming near her again. He jumped out of his still running car and  ran towards Pam’s building. Unexpectedly, he found her door unlocked.

“Pam,” Craig whispered. He walked in slowly to find her house very tidy which was unusual for her. “Pam, you here?” he softly called out gripping his chest as his face filled with more sweat. As he slowly walked towards Pam’s bathroom, the naked woman suddenly came up behind him and softly sang in his ear. She placed her hair around his neck and began to choked him. Then she dragged him into the bathroom as he weakly fought back. And then, he looked down. Inside of the tub was Pam and an empty bottle of pills and a spilled bottle of vodka that lied on the floor. She was dead. Craig choked even harder gasping for air as he fell down next to the tub. Finally, he noticed the lady wasn’t there anymore.  And then, the realization of Pam killing herself because of him, made his heart stop.

Born to dance..

She was born to dance... To move in addition to the wind. But, her dance was becoming unstable, insecure, changing. Her dance floor that she possessed since birth, was slowly becoming quicksand. Ceasing the movement in her legs, she began to dance with her hands. As her earth became unstable, unable to support the weight of her dishonored dance, she defiled what she was born to do, to be.... Sinking deeper into her movement, unable to breath, she was cut off from the world. As she sank...alone, unable to move with grace but now with disgrace, she withdrew within. This sadness caused her to have no other choice but to become one with herself. Slowly "un"earthing herself, "dis"-covering herself, "in" lightening herself, she "under" STOOD herself.  Her dance changed as she learned to "re"MOVE herself and bring forth that which was pleasing to her soul. Her dance became more elegant to the naked, the uncovered eyes, as her energy move and became abundant. She now knew her dance and how to rise above that which was capable of shutting her down or causing death to dance. She possess the freedom to progression, the movement to advancement. She became a dancer of self-worth....


IN SILENCE I DANCE AS I SEE THE WORLD SLOWLY
I AM CONCURRENTLY IN TRANCE, THIS DANCE IS HOLY
TRIUMPHANTLY I HAVE SHIFTED AS I AM BRILLIANTLY REMOVED
GRACEFULLY CAUGHT UP WITH THE WIND IN TUNED
I AM THE DOOR TO ALL WHICH LEADS TO BAD AND GOOD
IT IS PRESENT ALWAYS. FOR YEARS I MISUNDERSTOOD
I STAND COMMITTED IN THIS MOMENT, IN THIS DEVINE HOUR
I RELINQUISH MY "MIS"GIVING. I NOW HAVE THE POWER!

Dear Valorie...Forgive them

Dear Valorie,

You have so many dreams and you want to do so much to inspire others. You do inspire others but in a way you never expect. Life will throw wrenches at you and hit you right in your temple. You will become dizzy and pass out many times from the pain. People will rip your heart straight out of your chest and step on it. But I want you to know, the power of love will repair it. It will still trust people that are extremely close to you. You will confide in them. Again, know that they will also rip out your heart but from a different angle causing a new injury that will one day heal. This healing will be from a higher power. This healing will even repair the old wound. This healing will teach you to guard your heart. Never step down the stairs, that it took years for you to even climb, to seek revenge. You are meant to rise again from death. This death will teach that living is more important than a slow death that hatred will give you. You will learn that forgiveness doesn’t mean being among Haters and Abusers. Forgiveness means throwing away every negative thing that they gave you and never digging it back out of the trash ever again. Forgiveness means “thank you for this lesson and I pray that one day you are healed.”  Remember this and know that God wasn’t trying to punish your life but to give you wisdom for good things that will come your way. Those that God want in your life will stay and will fight on the side of you to help you become THAT person.

Love, Yourself.

As A Vampire

Looked upon as a Vampire
A creature...
Shut off from the light
Unseen and existing only in the dark
Reduced to lurking... for my next feed...
This feed is not nurturing
It is, in order to continue moving...
Loneliness sets in
I am shunned
Feared
Not the norm
But yet I will rise
Waiting
For my daylight
Each feeding I hope... becomes my nourishment
Existing alone... no guidance
But yet... I am powerful
Strong
Resilient
I have purpose
In my oneness
I am rising...
My daylight is coming
I see the rising
Because you see...
I am NOT a Vampire
As I appear to be...
A blood sucking animal who feeds
Only... looked upon as one
I am...
A reflection of the One who died
He, who was also unseen
Until He rose
From the dead...
Unlike the Vampire who incapable of rising
To live
He bleeds the blood of sacrifice
In my small, hidden life
I will not feed... anymore
I will consume
Nourishment
To rise
In the "light"...

 

The Guest 414 word ct Flash Fiction Friday

Lacey had fallen asleep with her Ebony Magazine and her glass of wine that still sat properly in her hand. She was awakened by a loud knock. She glanced over at the clock and it was 3:33 am. The house was quiet for some reason; her older son was usually awake watching videos on YouTube. Lacey finished off her wine and brushed it off. Then, she heard it again. It seemed to come from the balcony of master bedroom. She got up cautiously and placed her glass on the dresser.

“Josh, is that you?” She whispered. There was no answer. She walked towards the doorway and peered out. To her surprise the house was dark. Suddenly, three knocks came from the balcony door. This time she knew she wasn’t dreaming. Quickly, she turned in the direction of the balcony.

“Josh, I know you’re out there, stop!”

Now frightened, she walked slowly towards the balcony. Josh had always been a prankster but it was past 3 am. She looked through the sliding doors and then slowly opened it. No one was on the deck, just the soft wind and her two large rocking chairs that swayed back and forth.

“Thank goodness.”

She quickly shut the door and walked back to her bed. As Lacey shut the light off, she heard heavy footsteps walking down the hallway. She paused and held her breathe. Her palms were clammy and her heart began to pound. Lacey tiptoed back towards the doorway.

“Josh! Where are you?” she yelled out, “Josh!”  Momentarily, Josh walked into the hallway.

“Mom, why are you yelling at this time of night?”

“Josh I know that’s you trying to scare me.”

“Mom, I went to bed at 12. I have to get up early. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

And then, Lacey saw her. A naked woman that was so thin she looked as if she were a walking skeleton. Her breast hung like half-filled water balloons. Her wrinkled face had a distorted smile, exposing her toothless gums.

“Josh, watch out!!” Lacy yelled.

Suddenly, the woman let out a piercing scream and then grabbed Josh off of his feet and into his room. Then, the door slammed. Lacey rushed to Josh’s room and yanked on his door until it opened. He was gone. The only thing that was there was a foul smell that the woman left behind. Lacey knew it was her fault because she had opened the door, the balcony door.

The Escape 734 word ct

 

I could hear his footsteps drawing closer behind me. I took long strides as I tried my best to speed up.  My heart pounded fiercely. The hairs on my neck and arms stood up; they tickled my skin as I picked up more speed. The sound of his heels seemed to hit the pavement at the same momentum as mine. I didn’t know if he was following me or if I was just paranoid. I prepared my car key for my escape. The city was empty and most of the street lights were out.

“Is the city saving money?”  I wondered. “A city without lights is crime waiting to happen... to me,” I said to myself trying to get my mind off the guy walking closely behind me. 

I could see my car from a distance. It was parked directly under a bright street light; I began to run. I wanted out of these dark streets so badly that I could feel myself sitting in my car.

“This isn’t the last day of my life!” I kept telling myself, but then, I heard him began to run.

I looked over my shoulder to see if he was actually chasing me. He was. I couldn’t see his face. All that I could see was a large oversized coat that trailed behind him…as he indeed chased me.  I turned back around declaring to myself that I wouldn’t be that woman in the movies, that woman that always fell down and died.  I ran faster than I’ve ever ran as I focused on my car, determined.

The car seemed farther as he came closer to claiming my soul. My heart was beating so hard that I thought the springs that held it together were about to pop. I struggled to breathe as I tried with all my might to make it to my car without fainting. I felt a warm but wet feeling fill my pants; I didn’t care.  I just needed to get to my car.

I finally made it, but he was right behind me. My hands shook fiercely as I tried to put the key into my 1999 Toyota Paseo.    

“Maybe this is my last day. I can’t believe this is happening to me. I never expected to die like this. Please don’t let it be painful. How is my mother gonna take it?” I thought to myself.

“HELP!” I screamed as I shoved my key violently into the hole and turned it, but then, he grabbed me. I could see his scarred face completely now. His teeth were brown as the shit that now filled my pants. His hot bad breath heated my face as he hissed and choked me. I tried desperately to reach my door handle but I couldn’t. He began to drag me away from my car. I felt weak but I had to keep fighting. I wanted to live. My eyes were starting to feel like balls of fire as I felt each blood vessel explode.  Then, with all my might, I stabbed him in his face with my keys. I stabbed him over and over.  It rained blood. He finally let me go and I ran.

Safely inside my car, I locked my door. He ran towards my car and banged on my window. Easily, I started my car and put it in reverse.  I side swiped a light pole behind me and then I placed it in drive.  I floored it and hit his large body. He cracked the driver side of my windshield. Then, I ran over him with no regrets.

“YES! YES! Don’t fuck with me!” I yelled out in celebration as I cried.

My throat hurt and I could barely see.  I remembered my mother saying I was special and that I was meant for great things. Maybe this was it. I lived to testify of my escape. I was still shaking and I smelled like shit because I shit on myself but I was alive. I slowed down and fixed my mirror to see his smashed body on the ground. I squinted because I could barely see. Shocked, I noticed he wasn’t there.  

“What the fuck? Where is he?” I yelled out as I stopped the car completely.

Suddenly, my window shattered into a million pieces. Glass hit my eyeballs and cut my face. Maybe my mother thought I was meant for great things.

Failure is NOT an option

 

 

Believe in yourself. Even if you fail multiple times before succeeding, don't stop. Keep fighting even if your voice shakes, keep fighting even if you feel fatigued and cant make another step. Keep fighting until you can say, "YEAH I DID THAT!"

Life has its way...

The I found this announcement card that my dad was supposed to give to his mother announcing my birth. When I looked at, I noticed how beautiful his handwriting was. I felt a little special that he was giving my grandmother a card. I wondered to myself why he didn't give it to her and how I got it. Then, I looked down at my birthday and the time I was born  and saw 8-31 and 8:30. These numbers pop up on my phone, my computer, my clock, all the time, EVERYDAY. I didn't know I was born at 8:30. I asked my husband and daughter a while back, "why do I keep seeing these numbers?", as if they would actually know lol. My husband would laugh when I showed him screaming,"LOOK AT THE CLOCK!" Now  that I see this little card, that I cherish so much with my father's handwriting, I feel these numbers represent me becoming one with myself. My rebirth.  This card made me feel my dad did love me. Life has a way of revealing the secrets that need to be answered.

I am FREE!

Not all stories that are tragic end tragically. Not all bad childhoods end with broken adults. I am not broken nor am I sad because my past doesn't define who I am or what I was or am to become. Yes I am a product of my past but I do not live there. I may mention it if something reminds me of it but that's not my home. I am telling my story because I am free. The cage that I use to live in was always unlocked but I remained incarcerated willingly. Now I embrace my past because I  didn't realize there was wisdom that came with freeing myself.
 Before my father died we made up for my lost childhood. He told me he was sorry for having a favorite. Yes, and it hurt to hear that but it set him free and me also. My dad passed away in 2005. We were the best of friends, something I had longed for since I was child. Better late...than never. Someone would say, "why is she telling all her business?" Because I'm tired of holding it in and protecting everyone but the person I have to wake up to everyday....me. I hope to help someone who has scars from their past that have yet to be healed.
Namaste

Let me be as honest and candidly as I can

I am a writer. An author is what I aspire to be and very soon. actually.  I am a paranormal/fantasy/weird/lunatic type writer. Weirdly enough, I read books set in the 1500 or 1600s. The reason is I absolutely love history and I would rather have my own style of writing than to mimic some great writers that I know. That's just me... I started this blog to introduce myself to world. My book of short stories are now in process of being edited for publishing. It took me 7 years to get this done. Why? Because I've never been very confident in my writing, being torn apart by "smart people" who hadn't even read my stories. I was finally convinced to step out on faith because of first my husband, my adult children, and then my friends and associates that have read them and said I was wasting time sitting on them. I'm 45 years old and have always enjoyed writing but never in a million years would I have thought to publish and share me with the world. Who am I? I'm just a little girl who is tough as nails, who's constantly talking about giving up and becoming discourage but for some reason she never does, a little girl that married her prince charming and had four beautiful children.

 

My name is Valorie , meaning Valor, Valiant Warrior, Valorous, Strong, Strength and Powerful. It took me all these years to face my past and now I can turn to my future and smile. Here is my story, this is why I stand strong today.

 

 

Letters to myself

 Dear Valorie,

You stole that perfume pendant from your sister’s friend and then took your Kindergarten pictures with it on. Stealing will make you a dishonest person. I don’t remember anyone ever chastising you for that once the picture came home. Your mother and father should have questioned you. I’m 45 years old and would like to say be honest, you’re beautiful and smart and don’t need things to make you happy. It’s ok… I know you long for your dad to give you a bit more attention but now I know he’s a mentally sick man. One of my favorite memories that I now cherish and wish I could go back where you are right now is him picking you and Felecia up from daycare. I remember he had on a gray jogging suit and white gym shoes. He jogged up to get you guys and then you walked back. He was a hero in your eyes. He was everything. Just remember nothing that happens while you’re young is your fault but once you reach an age of understanding of consequences, take responsibility for the things that you create. I know you don’t hear it enough, if ever, but I love you little girl. You are beautiful, smart, creative (I mean that), powerful, athletic, and one day you’re gonna be an absolutely good wife and mother.

Love, yourself.

Dear Valorie,

I’m calling you Valorie because this is very important. I want you to listen clearly. If I could hug you and tell you how important you are I would. You’re so adorable. Your little crooked teeth and your beautiful eyes are so cute. You have so much happiness and hope in your eyes. Your eyes sparkle with innocence and love for mommy and daddy. You love laying in the bed beside daddy. I see how you tuck your little body underneath his hairy arm.

So much energy consumes you. You love running and fighting. You love dirtying up your clothes. You love life. You love waking up and eating breakfast that you mommy made. You love princess, your mixed German Shepherd. I remember you playing hide and seek and laughing so hard it hurt. It’s scary when he chases you but fun at the same time. You love the dresses that your mom sews. You feel prettier than any girl at church and your mom always buys you Avon purses and perfume.

I remember you sitting at the table eating mash potatoes and peas. You hate peas so you decided to make eating them fun. You scooped a pile of mash potatoes in your mouth and squeezed them out. Felecia laughed so hard. Daddy said stop. You saw how hard it made Felecia laugh so you did it again. Daddy must have been having a rough day that day because he had no patience for you.  He grabbed you from the table and held me in the air by your ankle. All I remember you doing is screaming and mommy saying put her down. He yelled, “Ok, you want me to put her down? I’ll put her down,” and he dropped you on your head. You were in 1^st grade. You were skinny, helpless and small and he was your hero. I’m so sorry I brought up a memory that you buried…

Oct 18, 2015